Do you want to start with part one..
click here http://www.squareeyephoto.com/blog/2014/9/how-to-not-want-to-kill-yourself-or-anyone-else-on-your-wedding-day
It’s your wedding not your mom’s!
How not to want to KILL YOURSELF and everyone else on your wedding day!
OK… So I know this can be a very very touchy subject! Especially if you are of Asian or Hispanic decent! Trust me! Latin mom’s are very opinionated about their daughter’s weddings.
If there is one major problem that I see in weddings! ONE MAJOR THING that I see just go completely wrong is the dynamic between mothers and daughters. Let me tell you, I HAVE SEEN IT ALL. I once saw a bride who got into such a huge fight with her mother the night before a destination wedding that the mother took EVERYTHING and left…with… guests.. decorations… money to pay the vendors…bride’s dignity and more. By the time we got there the bride was in tears and a total mess and was wailing that the wedding was over. Finally everyone came together and pieced the little that was still left and made it happen! Yes, I know this is an extreme example of the horror of bad relationships that explode in stressful situations. Let’s prevent anything like this from every happening to you!
I know that you have been dreaming of your wedding day since you were a little girl playing with Barbies. Well, unfortunately so has your mom.. she has been dreaming of your wedding day since you were playing with your Barbie’s .
First thing first! If you are paying for your wedding then you probably don’t need to worry about much. If your mom or future mother in law or best friend or whomever wants to constantly control choices or is getting a bit overbearing… you need to repeat this to this person (calmly) “_________ I love you, but I have been dreaming about my wedding day since I was a child and I would like it to be about what we want. I would like to make this dream come true. I know that you love me… and I appreciate what you have to say but we are paying for the wedding and so we are making the decisions, thanks.”
If your parents or your partners’ parents are paying for the wedding then… there are other strategies you can implement.
- Pay for you own wedding.
- Repeat this to your loved ones. “_________ I love you, but I have been dreaming about my wedding day since I was a child and I would like it to be about what we want. I would like to make this dream come true. I know that you love me and I really appreciate that you are helping us make our dreams come true! I also hope that it also means that you will allow us to make the important decisions about our wedding day possible.”
If someone else is paying for your wedding and this tactic doesn’t work here are a few others.
- You have to stay calm. Try not to lose it. It’s easy to do but if you are taking those stress buster vitamins as I advised you in the first blog.. that should help.
- Don’t take ANYTHING personally. This goes for ALL OF LIFE. What others think about you has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. (Read the book..The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.. you can buy it here on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1438116607&sr=1-1&keywords=the+four+agreements
This book is a LIFE CHANGER! I MEAN IT! YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL CHANGE WHEN YOU READ IT!
- Once you have your arsenal .. like you have read the four agreements (it’s a tiny book… pick it up on audible.com) This person is paying for your wedding and they still want way… Start making outrageous requests. You know how when you were little if you wanted ten bucks from your parents you would ask for fifty first! Well start with saying that you want a Circus themed wedding with live elephants and fire breathers and work your way down from there. Nothing is going to seem impossible if you are meeting in the middle from OUTRAGEOUS!
- Make this person in charge of something you don’t care that much about. You don’t really care about the candy bar. Well tell you mom, or person, “The Candy Bar is SUPER important to me.. I want it to be perfect but I don’t have a ton of time to work on this can you do me a huge favor.. and work on this for me… I would really really appreciate it!”
- Have someone else help you keep this person preoccupied. Talk to your father or this person’s BFF and let them know how you feel… but only if you can really trust this person.. otherwise this can be the start of some serious DRAMA! You don’t need more drama!
- Have your mom or this person be involved by sharing gorgeous photos of your ideas. Many times people can’t see your ideas on a blank canvas so just showing up at a farm when your mom wants you to have a traditional church wedding can be a deterrent. Instead share your Pinterest board and let her see the finished ideas before showing up anywhere undecorated!
Hopefully some of these ideas will help. Remember to breathe.. do a little yoga.. listen to to some guided meditations.. and RELAX!
Coming next ...
How to get the best wedding photography on the day of your wedding and make the appropriate time for your hired artist to create stunning work!